Thief

I think this lady misunderstood the phrase "fill her up!" Hey, at least she wasn't texting... Colondra Hamilton, 36, pleaded guilty last Thursday to driving while watching a porno and pleasuring herself with a sex toy...

Never steal a computer from a computer nerd. About two months ago, 18-year-old blogger and Internet entrepreneur Mark Bao had his Macbook Air stolen. Last week, he figured out how to remotely access the browser history on the laptop and uncovered a treasure trove of the thief’s self-portraits, as well as his Facebook page...

If you rob a restaurant, it might not be the best idea to then turn yourself into a walking billboard for said eating establishment. Two men in Florida burgled a Chicken Shack on Tuesday, swiping t-shirts, beer and other property.

A man from the Florida Keys was arrested Monday night and charged with stealing a box of, um, female pleasuring devices. As if that isn’t bad enough – he stole them from his boss! Breakfast cook Mitchell Tice, 40, allegedly broke into a utility trailer of his former employer in January and swiped the items, along with two laptops and a wig.

Who the hell steals a foot???? Apparently, this lady.

If you’re going to shoplift, make sure you’re poised for a swift getaway…and not 400 pounds riding a mobility scooter that can’t fit through the door! Jerrie Perkins, 30, was trying to leave a Michigan store with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic goods last Tuesday night...

Um...Imagine the smell. A female shoplifting suspect in Minnesota managed to conceal a $6,500 mink coat in her underwear! Not only that, she kept it hidden for three days while she was in jail! Those must've been some huge panties.

If you know this dude, you may want to keep your distance...Lightning could strike at any time. A robber broke into a Maryland church on Sunday and left it penniless. Literally. The guy stole 40,000 pennies (400 bucks). The pennies had been collected by the children of the parish for 10 months and a portion of the money was going to go to charity...