Obsession with “TubeSteak” Gets Man Banned From Supermarket

Touching meat in a grocery store is a totally acceptable practice unless it is your own and in your pants!. A man in Britain has been banned from entering local supermarkets unchaperoned due to getting caught masturbating for 10 minutes.

Eugenio Freitas was arrested on public indecency charges busted by security camera footage that captured him doing a solo tango in the aisle of a store.

This Santa's "sack," was big enough to let it all hang loose at a grocery store. Some may ask, what was hanging out? Was it beef or chicken? Your best bet is to go with chicken; cock-a-doodle do.