Oops, I Did It Again-Top 5 Celebrity Sex Tapes

I’ve never been big into porn. And by “big into,” I mean that it really grosses me out. I don’t understand how people can watch other people make sex and actually be turned on by it. I’m not judging, it’s just not my (two girls, one) cup of tea. That being said, there was one thing that I watched, nay, watch regularly, and that film is called One Night In Paris. For some strange reason, I have a huge crush on Paris Hilton. I don’t know why. Nobody does. Whatever. I would spend numerous dollars to spend one night in Paris, but I have a feeling that this video will be as close as it gets. This was the first celebrity sex tape I had ever seen, but it opened my eyes to a whole new world. I am now going to bring that world to you with our list of the Top 5 Celebrity Sex Tapes.

#5- One Night In Paris

Though this is my personal favorite, this, um, film, has been critically lauded more than Batman and Robin. I'm not sure what people were expecting, but evidently this wasn't it.

What's Good: Paris Hilton is super hot. You get to see her naked. You can make fun of how stupid she is.

What's Bad: The sex, judging by the why Hilton reacts. I'm not sure if she was just shy, or if she's really THAT boring in the sack, but she did not strike me as the sex-kitten I always hoped she'd be.

#4- Trying To Keep It Up With A Kardashian

In keeping with the tradition of people being famous for being famous, we come to Kim Kardashian. I'm still not sure exactly what she does, or even who she is, but she's famous for something. So you had to know that eventually a sex tape would surface, featuring the starlette. Bonus points for featuring another "celebrity," in the form of R&B singer Ray Jay.

What's Good: Kim Kardashian is pretty hot. For a typical "Hollywood Hot Girl." Also, one has to assume that if Kardashian were to display in an actual film the obvious acting skills she conveyed in her video, she could have a promising career as an actress.

What's Bad: It gets annoying after a while, how often they seem to "talk" to us, the viewing audience. Part of the fun of watching a sex tape is the voyeurism that comes with it. We don't want to feel like we're actually there with them, that would just be weird. We'd rather watch them from the comfort of our own parent's darkened basement.

#3- Edwards Hunterhands

I love political scandals. Had I been alive for Watergate, I probably would've peed my pants with excitement. Those were REAL scandals. Now it's all about sex. Blah blah blah. While it's not really a big deal to me, it's been quite the ordeal for former presidential candidate John Edwards. Basically, it ruined his life- or at least his political career. Evidently, not only did Edwards cheat on his wife, he also got his mistress pregnant. And then made a sex tape. Who says chivalry is dead?

What's Good: The tape was destroyed.

What's Bad: The tape was destroyed.

#2- The Original

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are the grandparents of the celebrity sex tape scandal. The thing is, though, this never really hindered their career. If anything, it made it better. For some reason, morals in the 90's were a lot less prevalent than they are today. But these two paved the way for future celebrities who have a hint of exhibitionism.

What's Good: If you were around in the 90's, you saw Baywatch. If you saw Baywatch, you were in love with Pamela Anderson. If you were in love with Pamela Anderson, your mind was blown if you saw this tape.

What's Bad: Instead of Tommy Lee, I just really wish it was David Hasselhoff that was with her. THAT would have been the be-all/end-all of celebrity sex tapes.

#1-18 Going On 30

Kendra Wilkinson wins this one for one reason and one reason only- she's really smokin' hot. While the repercussions are nowhere near as important as other celebrities, she's probably the hottest girl that has ever made one. In my humble opinion.

What's Good: As previously stated, she's crazy hot.

What's Bad: Because of her age at the time of this video (18), I couldn't help feeling a little guilty as I watched this. Yes, she's legal. But she's still so young. I debated my conscience for about 4 minutes, then I watched the video again.

5 Celebrities I Wish Would Make A Sex Tape-

Katy Perry- Um, duh.

George Bush Jr.- Solely because I want to hear him try to pronounce cunnilingus.

Michelle Obama- I'm just really, really curious if she's an actual human being or a robot.

Christian Bale- I imagine that the dirty talk he would be doing would very quickly transition into him yelling at someone for walking into the shot.

Kate Upton- What better way for an aspiring model to springboard her career than by making a sex tape? Please please pleeeeease make a sex tape.

If this hasn't been enough sex-tape talk for you, check out this video of Tee Roy's attempt to make a sex tape. But don't say that we didn't warn you.