DOUCHE OF THE DAY-Man Sticks Face In Women’s Mudflaps

As big a douche as this guy is, he may be on to something... Duane Starkenburg, 46, is accused of planting his face into the buttocks of multiple women at a Seattle park! Apparently, he likes to go to the park and watch women jog. Then he comes up behind them, pretends to fall, and faceplants right into their derriere. The women complained to police and Starkenburg was picked up on two counts of indecent liberties and one count of attempted indecent liberties. "His nose went up in my butt," one of his victims said. "I was very shocked." But Starkenburg denied any wrongdoing, though he did admit to police that he likes to watch women “jiggle and bounce” as they run. Either way, it would be best for everyone if he would just butt out.