‘Moobs’ Winner Bryan Gregg’s Night Out At Rack’s

The following article is an account of 'Moobs' winner Bryan Gregg's night out at Racks. It has not been edited because, frankly, I'm too lazy and pissed off that he got free lap dances and I didn't. F*ck you Bryan.

About a month ago at work a few of us listened to 96.7 and kept hearing that no one has posted a pictured for the man boobs contest. I got peer pressured enough to do it. That was a very awkward phone call of someone telling me that I actually won a man boobie contest. I couldn't do it on Mardi Gras evening because of work so the wonderful Wendy was able to reschedule everything for Saturday evening. I ended up going alone because the people I had lined up to do it had last minute issues such as: "Dude my girlfriend won't let me." "I can't find a babysitter." the best one yet, "If I go my girlfriend will kill my dog." Whatever, a fifty dollar bar tab and some free lap dances who really needs friends at that point.

The limo came and picked me up, it was awesome because they allowed smoking. I have never smoked in a limo before and this had already excited me. It was a comfy ride to Rack's Gentleman's club. Once we got there and I stepped out of the limo some dude with a big expensive camera came running out the door. Now if I could redo this situation, we should have grabbed as many girls out of the place, piled them in the limo and took some pictures. I was just thinking about boobs and alcohol at this point. I got some pictures standing by the limo and we proceeded inside. Tee Roy was waiting for me inside, we grabbed some girls and took some pictures with them. It's always funny with strippers when it comes to camera's, "Where are these pictures going?" Your already wearing the equivalent of a bikini that you would wear to the lake and you just have that dying urge to ask, "Don't your parents know what you do?"

Tee Roy got me hooked up for the evening, I just had to pick a girl to get dances with and finish my tab. I noticed some co-workers there that I worked the same shift with. I wasn't really surprised to see them, One of them I actually put it together that since I have moved to Casper a little over a year ago and have been out to the titty bar a few times that he was out there every time with a huge stack of one's talking dirty to some girl. I thought I have talked dirty to some girls in my life, nope not even close, if there was a talking dirty to a stripper award he would have took it home. This poor girl just kept looking at me and I could just see it in her face, "save me." Sorry chick you are on your own there. I played a few games of pool and "received" a few beers out of victory from my opponents.

When I finally lost I figured I should go harass my co-workers some more. When I went up to one of them, he started laughing about something and fell straight back off the bar stool. The bouncer there looked pissed. He was your typical huge bald white guy bouncer, he already looks pissed 24/7 but when he is angry he looks like he is going to rip something out of the wall and hit you with it. "His he with you!!!??" asked the bouncer. "No, I just work with the drunk ass, and this bar stool is not very sturdy." I picked up my co-worker, put him back on his stool and told him to chill out. He was thrown out five minutes later. My other co-worker with big stack of one dollar bills is still talking dirty to this girl. I always went by the wise words of Chris Rock, "No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room."

I was waiting for the bar tender, who had an awesome rack and was way cool. Weird an awesome rack at rack's. A girl came up to me, her name was Angelina. She wanted to do shots of Patron. Found out that taking a shot of patron with a pineapple juicer chaser was awesome. We talked for awhile, had a couple more shots of patron with a pineapple back and I decided to get my dances from her and it was awesome. I highly recommend her for your lap dance need. I had a very good time. The music was loud and pretty decent but it wasn't so loud you couldn't care on a conversation. The drinks were good and the girls were hot. Thanks 96.7 for the good time!!!

Bryan Gregg signing off...

Congratulations Bryan. Sometimes having man boobs really does pay off.