Cameron Simcik
Men Completely Fail at ‘The Crying Competition’
You know the whole notion that men aren’t emotionally in touch with themselves? These guys in Venice Beach aren’t doing a whole lot to dispel it. All they had to do was cry one measly tear and they would win. But they couldn’t do it.
Woman Caught ‘Touching and Riding’ Manatee
Apparently, gettin’ down and dirty with animals is now a thing? Remember that extra horny dolphin who tried to get some action from the scuba diver? It’s the stuff of nightmares. Well folks, the roles have reversed, and mammal-loving horny people are making headlines! Actually, it’s just one strange lady from Pinellas, Florida, but she’s weirded things up for the rest of us.
Texans Make World’s Largest Frito Pie
Fritos fits the bill of a perfect snack. Now, before you get all snack sassy, just hear us out. They’re crunchy, salty, miniature, AND they’re the ultimate dip-scooper. Could it get any better? No way. That’s why when we heard the folks over at the Texas State Fair wanted to honor the delicious goodness, we couldn’t contain our Frito-loving excitement!
Halloween Candies That Need to Come Back
It’s that time of year again when we apologize to our pancreas and then eat until we’re sick — Halloween candy season! Everywhere we turn, we’re bombarded with chocolate and gummies and sour things and those peanut butter taffies in the wax paper wrapping that no one ever eats. Somehow those things have survived the ages but our favorites have gone by the wayside. It’s bittersweet heaven on earth.
Dallas Thief Steals 94 Pairs of Panties
Hold on to your tightie whities, grape smugglers, and banana hammocks– there’s a panty thief on the loose.
Amazing Street Performers Are a Two Man Jukebox
If you’ve ever taken the time to really listen to street performers, you’ll notice that most are extremely talented, and unfortunately, they often go unnoticed. But these guys have brought street performance to an entirely new level of awesome, and they’re definitely gaining attention.
New Study Claims Male Packages are Shrinking
A recent study claims male genitalia is 10 percent smaller than the average package was fifty years ago.
Wisconsin Guy Humps Curbside Couch
We don’t know much about Wisconsin. But the few things we do know about the land of cheeses are reasons enough for Wisconsinites to be damn pleased with their state. It’s home to Cheeseheads, lots of badgers, Miller Brewing Company, and that guy who was caught having sex with a couch. Wait, what?
Global Bacon Shortage is a Horrible Reality
We really don’t like to be the bearers of bad news. It makes us feel all sad and weird, like ‘Gangnam Style’ in an elevator. But this time, we feel that it’s necessary to relay said bad news, if only for your health: there is going to be a global shortage of bacon next year.
Eel Gets Lodged Up Guy’s Butt
Few things are worse than going to the doctor. We mean, what’s the upside of shelling out cash for some creepy guy with a porno ‘stache to give us a hernia test? We could trick our girlfriends into giving us a one for free. There are, however, a few exceptions where we’d have to suck it up and make a visit to the doc’s. For example, if we found ourselves with an eel stuck up our butt.
Guy Gets Revenge on Loud Church Music by Blasting Adult Film
We all have annoying neighbors — the guy who mows his lawn in shorty shorts at 7am on Saturday morning or that older lady who floods our mailbox with “help me find a home” cat flyers that makes us hate cats as much as junk mail. What about the f...
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Dutch Guy Creatively Passes Time in Traffic
There’s no denying traffic sucks. While it’s the perfect time to pluck a few nose hairs in the rearview mirror or catch a stripper on the side of the road, that stuff can get boring pretty quickly. Over in the Netherlands, we’ve discovered sitting in traffic really sucks. Literally.