A DJ’s Guide To Sturgis-Some Things You May Need To Know

ME - Hey, can I get a picture with you for our website?

SOME LADY WITH A MESH SEE-THROUGH SHIRT AND PASTIES - Only if my friend can be in it. Oh, and if my kids won't see it

ME - Um, I can't promise your kids won't see it.

LADY- Well, Ok. It IS Sturgis, after all

You gotta love Sturgis.

For the second straight year, I connived Rock 96.7 to pay for me to head to Sturgis. With cameraman Nick Perkins in tow, we learned some things about ourselves, the rally, and tent set-up dos and don'ts. (Nick learned if you don't stake down your tent, it blows away!) After 3 days of nudity, drinking, and touring, here are the essentials you'll need for your trip next year.

PS. we've posted a plethora of great content from the trip at rock967online.com, which you can find links to throughout this story. You can also type in "sturgis" in the search field, and find it all there

Some things I learned on my trip to Sturgis:

1. Blowing your front tire while going 80mph is not fun.

About 30 miles outside of Newcastle, the ride got really rough, and I couldn’t turn. Thinking that I trashed part of my suspension, I rode the rest of the way to Newcastle, and noticed that my front tire was, well, pretty much gone. Good thing there is Beauty in The Breakdown There is no bike shop in the town, the tire shop doesn’t work on bikes, and the closest town that does is Sundance…about 60 miles away. After much cursing and kicking (which, by the way, didn’t help the cause) I was sent to some dude’s house that fixed the tire for me. Let me repeat that: I went to a man's house! The Napa store only had one 18” tube, and it was for the rear tire, but Alan ( I didn’t catch his last name, but he was a helluva nice guy) made it work. Newcastle: horrible town, but awesome people

2. Washing your bike is a waste of time

No one wants to cruise in the world’s largest bike rally with a dirty bike…but everyone does. The first year I went, I paid $25 for strippers to wash it for me. It sounds cool, but really, it was just a waste of $25. The girls didn’t do anything cool (at least rub the twins on the bike or something!) and before I made it back to the campground, the bike was caked in dust. I watched one dude clean his bike 3 times a day…and as soon as he rode away, his bike was dirty again.

3. Not all nudity is good nudity, but it's still all good

If you've ever been to Sturgis, you know that most people use the week to let their inhibition's go, and you see some weird stuff. Pasties and body paintings are the norm around town, and even less clothing is found in the campgrounds. Usually, around each mostly naked lady, there is an army of amateur photographer's (a group which may or may not include our very own amateur photographer, Nick Perkins) stocking up on their private collection of bathroom material, but every once in a while, you run across a nude person that should, well, not be nude. We saw a lot of these people at Sturgis' most well-known and most-frequented bar, Full Throttle. After multiple adult drinks (which, believe me, I needed) you still feel sorry for them...but, to each their own. This rally is a chance for people to forget about other people's opinion's, and just let loose and enjoy themselves. God bless America!

4. Sturgis is about more than, well, Sturgis

On the second day of our trip, we left the town behind us as we cruised through the Black Hills. With a plethora of caves (the good folks at The Wonderland Cave gave us an unforgettable tour), Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Keystone, and Deadwood to name a few attractions, there are so many fantastic sights within 30 minutes to an hour of Sturgis, you have to almost take two full days to enjoy them. Even if you're not into any of these things, the curvy roads, awesome canyons, and beautiful mountains make taking a cruise mandatory.

5. Sturgis ain't just for bikers

We've all seen the TV shows, read the stories, and watched the movies. Bikers can be dirty, dangerous, and mean. Can't really knock the lifestyle...it's what they chose, it's who they are, and it makes them happy. Again, to each their own. But sometime over the past 15-20 years, Sturgis quit being about die hard bikers, and started being about a week-long experience. Now, I'm not saying this is a family event. As a matter of fact, anyone who takes their kids to Sturgis needs to have their heads examined. But anyone who attends will notice that most "bikers" in Sturgis are just regular people having fun. Lawyers, Doctors, DJ's...everyone dresses up like a badass, learns some new curse words, and basically pulls a "weekend warrior". Bad things can, and do, happen, but that's to be expected when hundreds of thousands of people descend on a small town. For the most part, the real bikers keep to themselves, and everybody just enjoys themselves.

With all that being said, here's a quick rundown of some things that may make your trip better:

Full nudity and drugs are not tolerated in Sturgis.

Sturgis has very healthy influx of police officers during this week that do their best to keep everyone safe. They're not intrusive, and pretty much let everybody have their fun...but they do have laws they enforce. The campgrounds, on the other hand...

Anything Goes At The Campgrounds.

The good folks at the Buffalo Chip put us up for the second straight year, and once again, we were amazed at how fun and free the people were. It's not uncommon to see people playing slap-and-tickle outside of their tents, drinking outrageous amounts of alcohol, or just wandering around naked. The only rule? Let people do their own thing, and life will be good.

Cook Your Own Meals And Buy Your Beer At The Liquor Store.

Sturgis is very, very expensive. I paid 5 bucks for a can of beer at one establishment, $14 for a pitcher at another, and yet another place bent me over for $7.50 for one of those aluminum Bud bottles. Meals? Gourmet prices for a burger...if you're lucky. We take a grille with us, and the first thing we do when we hit town is head straight to the grocery store. A couple cases of beer and enough food to last three days can cost you about the same as one round of drinks and dinner at a bar. We still ate out once or twice, but overall, saved a TON of money by grilling our own food. It filled us up, tasted awesome, and really made the trip more affordable.

There Is No Such Thing As A Bad Show In Sturgis

If you're into live music, you'll love this town. Pretty much every bar in town has music going all day...and it's all good. From the small bands you've never heard of, to the arena rock Gods that you would pay top dollar for, the tunes are more about the atmosphere than the genre. And even though Hinder played in Casper literally the night before they played Sturgis, they still rocked it. Coming from a dude who has seen literally thousands of bands over the years, I give the entire city of Sturgis two great big thumbs up.

Last, But Not Least, Weird Is The Norm

Some dude sniffed my wife's butt.

I had to have some words with him.

He smiled, nodded his head, and went and sniffed somebody else.

This, apparently, is normal.

It's easy to get offended by what we don't see as normal, but once again, Sturgis is about letting loose, having a great time, and letting others be weird. Now, in this particular instance, The dude went too far by invading someone else's space, which is not cool. Had he just asked...well, he would have been told to f-off, but most people are pretty cool about letting you take pictures, join, or whatever. Hey, anything goes in Sturgis!

Just don't smell my wife's rear