Top Five Reasons Why Tee Roy Would Do Your Mom

We've all sat around with our friends and discussed who we would love to shag. Usually,  the answers consist of models, actresses, and the occasional best friend's sister.

Over the weekend, I was part of one these conversations. After much thought, I came up with, what I think is, the perfect answer: Your Mom! Here's why...

1. She puts out

Hey, she already has at least one trophy...You!

2. She's probably pretty dirty

Think about it. Unless you're a Duggar, or have a buttload of siblings, your mom has done things that stop the possibility of having another child...like allowing back-door access, receiving jewelry (that's a pearl necklace joke), or any amount of other things that would make me happy.

3. She could bake for me when we're done.

You know those warm chocolate chip cookies that you love so much? I'd have her make some for me...after we do it.

4. She's had plenty of experience

Odds are, your dad wouldn't have stuck around for so long if she wasn't any good...and she's probably honed some awesome skills over the years.

5. You'd have to call me Dad

Yeah, that's right. Now shut up and get me a beer. I need to get ready for round two...with your mom!