Dumb Criminals

Charles Ross has been caught with his pants down because his victims were caught with their pants up. Way up.

As any thief worth his salt knows, a clean getaway is absolutely essential. Well, a South Carolina teen recently botched a robbery in a big way after police followed a trail of Cheetos right to his front door. (While that's not the thief pictured above, authorities should still be on the lookout for a hungry cheetah in human clothing.)

While most of us rang in the new year with a noisemaker and a drink or two, 29-year-old Coco Bennett celebrated by brandishing a samurai sword in front of police. Oh, and he was stark naked too, of course.

The clerk at the Sheridan Mini Mart in East Bremerton, Washington probably isn't the world's greatest employee. In fact, when a woman came into the store at 10 PM Thursday night the slacker-in-question wouldn't stop talking on his phone as she tried to grab his attention. His conversation was so engrossing that he didn't even care that she had a gun.

Al Alverson didn't get the iPad mini that he had ordered through FedEx. However, the blame for the non-delivery rested squarely on UPS.

Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel's money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000.

Donald Albritton's marriage was going through a rough patch, so he turned to his ex-girlfriend for help. The catch is Megan White, the 35-year old's former-flame, didn't exactly get a say in the matter...

Sure, the holiday season can be a bit of a hassle sometimes, but we've never actually tried to ruin Christmas. This Texas man, however, fully embraced his Grinchy nature and was caught on camera stealing Christmas decorations from his neighbors.

After robbing a bank, most criminals will try to lay low for a period of time. Not 19-year-old Hannah Sabata. The Stromsburg, Nebraska teen wanted to get credit for her ability to knock over a local bank for over $6,000 and also make off with a Pontiac Grand Am that didn't belong to her.

Bah, humbug! A Canadian Grinch ruined the annual holiday parade for dozens of children last Saturday. The intoxicated 24-year-old man, who hailed from Kingston, was arrested after police received a complaint. Parents informed authorities that this jerk ruined Christmas for their youngsters by walking up and down the parade lines and telling them that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

A man who fell asleep while robbing a house was arrested in Washington County in Oregon.

So, I never would pretend to know anything about the law, or police procedures. And I can also say that if some dude was coming at me with a crowbar and I had a gun, I'd shoot his ass too. But, to me, the cops in this video seem to be a bit...excessive. I guess that's what happens when you hit a man with a taser to the face and he doesn't  even blink. Here's hoping he at least got to eat a Cinnamo