Is Squatting the Answer To All Your Bathroom Problems?

Decades and decades ago, humans decided that it was no longer advantageous to be forced to hunker down in the weeds with a devilish grip on their ankles just for the sake of hanging a good old fashion duke wreath. Soon after, the toilet was born.

Still, while the sit down method of using the toilet may appear to be more civilized and comfortable, the medical industry has contended since the 1960’s that pinching a load off while sitting down is a nefarious culprit in causing health issues like hemorrhoids and constipation. Health experts suggest that squatting is, and always has been, the best way for a person to conduct his colon cleaning business, as it requires less rectal effort to manifest a healthy sized black banana.

However, not everyone has the balance and dexterity to perch above their throne to accurately and safely drop butt nuggets. For those people there are products like the Squatty Potty to lend a helping hand…or at bare minimum, some footing.

Some health experts say that while using a product that encourages squatting can reduce the overall grunt factor, there are no clinical studies to prove it to be more effective. Plus, squatting just makes it harder to read a magazine.

While we had good intentions of conducting our own squatter study here in the office this morning, but our plans were deterred due to our intern suffering from a foul bout of the beer squirts and an alarming fear of heights.

Perhaps we’ll try tomorrow.