How to Scam Your City Into Giving You Unlimited Police Escorts
Preface:
If you want unlimited police escorts, you’re going to be in this game for the long haul. It’ll take some time to earn their trust, but the payoff will be well worth it, as you will be the envy of all your friends.
Prices and time may change depending on your state laws.
Materials you will need before you start this scam:
-A driver's license
Duh you need to be able to drive anyway.
-Legally Acquired $210.00
Not all at once. There will be separate payments of $40, $40, $80, and $50
-Time
This will take about 222 days (approximately 7 and a half months).
Executing the Scam:
Step 1.
You will need your first payment of $40. You’re going to sign up for what is called “License Class Change”, when signing up you’re looking for a “Commercial” level. There are multiple locations in Casper that offer this class. This class is about 42 days (six weeks). Now it’s not enough to just pass this class, you want to be TOP, you need to aim to be the best of the best. That will help you with future steps.
In this class you will also need your second payment of $40
Step 2.
After absolutely DOMINATING the rest of your classmates it’s test time. The test fee is $80, but since you were the top of your class, you’ll pass this first try with ease.
You will have to pay the last installment of $50 for the license itself.
Step 3.
Because you were the best student (refer to step one) your teacher will love you and vouch for your hard work, and recommend the best places to get a new job. Your teacher will love you so much that he will find you that special hook up.
Step 4.
Find a job, but not at a grocery store or any old shipping company, find a shop of some sorts (welding, mechanics, engineering, etc.) that needs someone to transport large parts.
Climb your way up the trucking ladder until you are the one, they trust with their largest loads, or look for and volunteer to take the oversized loads. If you can look for the loads that are either one of or all
13’ or wider
100’ or longer
14’ or taller
Step 5.
After being in charge of delivering these orders, laugh at all the peasants around you. Watch as the cops, who are now eating out of the palm of your hand, swerve in front of the people who would have right of way if you weren't such an animal.
Enjoy the roads clearing out before you like Moses at the red sea, and make money at the minor inconvenience of everyone. You are not only an essential worker, but also never have to deal with the worst part of driving again, other people!
For all purposes of wanting to keep my job, this is only half a joke. Delivering oversized loads will win you police escorts, and obtaining a CDL will gain you a new career. I also do not have a CDL, nor did I get trained for it. There may be innaccuracies in my research, but I assure you I hold a lot of respect for our courriers, truck drivers, and trades people alike.