How To Make Stuffed Mushrooms – A Weekly Lesson From Tee Roy

Last week I celebrated a birthday by...working. Hey, I'm a grown man, and the last birthday I actually cared about was my 21st (and, oddly, it's the last one I don't remember...weird). So, on Saturday, I decided that I was going to get together with some close friends, and treat them to a celebratory BBQ.

Now, to be honest, this was supposed to be a post on how to BBQ a 12 pound brisket, but that didn't turn out too well...after waking up at 3 in the morning to start grilling it, I realized 7 hours later that I should have probably watched it. The 12 pound brisket turned into a 3 pound hunk of charcoal. Which turned into Pork Chops and Brats...

Even with that huge failure, the BBQ turned into a success. You could make the argument that it's due to the poker game that ensued, or the mass quantities of alcohol consumed, or the slew of hot ladies that attended...but I like to think it's because of the killer Stuffed Mushrooms I threw down. And they were AWESOME! My wife decided that I will be making these every time we eat from now on. I don't know about that, but I will be making them more often. Easy, quick, and delicious...details below.

Tee Roy's Stuffed Mushrooms

What You Need:

3 Packages of the biggest damn mushrooms you can find (not Portabella)

1 Thing of cream cheese

1 Package of bacon (not turkey...it just don't taste right)

1 Package of pre-cooked crab meat

1 Onion

1 Bell Pepper

3 Green Onions

1 Package of grated Parmesan cheese (set aside about half a cup for later use)

Lots of beer (or whatever your preferred poison may be)

How To Make The Magic Happen:

1.Drink some beer, and complain about how you do everything. Duck when the wife throws something at you.

2. Cook the bacon. But don't do it naked...that could hurt. And confuse your guests.

3. Drink some beer, and make sure your wife isn't within hearing distance. Then proceed to tell some lies about her.

4. Mix everything - except the mushrooms and about half a cup of the Parmesan cheese - in a big ass bowl (I started with a little one, and had to upgrade after about half the ingredients were added)

5. Wash the shrooms, and pull the stems out. In the past, I've chopped these up and threw them into the mix, but it just takes away from the flavor. Up to you.

6. Shove as much of the mix into the mushroom caps as you can. I like to fill them all up, then come back with whatever's left over and top all of the mushrooms off.

7. Take the half cup of cheese and top off all of the mushrooms. Once the mushrooms have been stuffed, you can set them in the fridge until you're ready for them, or cook them right away.

8. Drink some beer. Think about your first pet. Cry. Drink some more beer

9. Put mushrooms on the grill. We cooked them while we were charring the animal flesh, on the top grate so they would cook slowly. They ended up being done at the same time as everything else, so it worked out. You can also throw them in the oven, at 350 degrees for about 8-10 minutes, but use this method only if it's too cold to BBQ, you're out of propane/charcoals, or you're a communist. They taste just as good, but it's just not right. Who ever heard of a bunch of dudes hanging out around the oven?

10. Proceed to take all of your friends' money in a poker game. Drink beer.