How To Be A Moron

The other day, I was at lunch with my lovely bride. We ate some killer food, talked about our day, and enjoyed each others company. After paying the bill, we walked out together, both of us heading off back to work. That's when we saw this:

Some jackass actually backed up and got their bumper underneath ours. Two things about this really get me; 1) They had about 4 feet in front of them of open space, so there was no need to back up that far. 2) They didn't leave a note, try to find us, or even pull up after they nailed our car. They just left it like that, then headed inside to eat.

Now, we have a 1998 crap-box, so we weren't too worried about the damage. We were more worried about trying to back up and ripping off their bumper. That's a great way to have somebody claim we nailed them. We called the cops, they ran the plates, and found the car was registered to someone who had a warrant. So, instead of coming clean about causing a little fender bender that we could care less about, or even trying to pull up and realize there was no damage before heading inside, this Darwin Award winner is now sitting in jail. I would feel bad for them, but they're obviously too stupid to be on the streets...

That, my friend, is how to be a moron!