Kathy Landin

Numbers and charts are usually boring things reserved for sales meetings and discussions about market influence and other corporate blah blah blah. But, today? Today the numbers and charts show that here in America, we are blessed with the cheapest beer on the planet. Cue the patriotic background music.

We’ve all dreamed of doing it. That final “in-your-face” speech to the boss as we walk out the door of a thankless job. The verbal middle finger we spend those late nights and working holidays composing but never get to utter out loud.

Never has there been such great motivation for keeping your ride clean, especially if your lifestyle is dirty. Police in Malaysia have arrested several people involved in a loyalty program that offered free sex to patrons who paid for ten car washes.

Nothing spices up a marriage like a good bedtime threesome and nothing spices up a good bedtime threesome like gunfire, a standoff and the SWAT team. Hopefully when these people get out of jail, they’ll start making videos.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that being a telemarketer isn’t the best job ever. Often you are interrupting people at bad times, offering them things they don’t want, encouraged to be pushy and then get hung up on pretty much all the time. This comes with the job. Which means, you shouldn’t threaten to bomb their homes when it happens. Unless they’ve changed how it’s done. Read

The school buses are running again, and the kids are out of the house. Finally. With the end of the far-too-long summer break, this return to school days can leave you with a little extra time on your hands during the day, right? Well, maybe not too much, but your daily schedule should ease up a bit, so now what do you do? You get back on the Internet, that’s what.

It’s ok to have really great sex in your own home, but be careful, because if it’s so great that your neighbors can hear it, you might get arrested. Especially if you live in South Australia where more than two-thirds of the people polled online said police were right to arrest one rather vocal couple for just that.

It stands to reason that a man named Jackmeoff Mudd would be up to no good. You saddle a guy with that kind of name and you almost guarantee that at some point, he’s going to get himself into some trouble. That’s exactly what happened in Ft. Lauderdale, FL recently.

It may not be good form to use the actual word, but the term for it is now officially a part of the English language. The word czars at Merriam-Webster have added the “F-bomb” to the dictionary.

A tattoo can be the perfect artistic expression of something you feel very strongly about. Tattoos are no longer just for sailors, soldiers and inmates.

To grab some more of that should-you-really-be-drinking-this market share, the makers of Mountain Dew have come up with a new green apple flavor. To promote this new flavor, they’ve been having an online contest to name it. But, it seems that someone has hijacked DubtheDew, most likely leading to extended marketing meetings at The Dew and some corporate input on name entries.

Your inner 12-year-old is about to get a big health boost, because Chinese researchers believe that eating farts could be good for you. Start pulling fingers, because while this seems like 7th Grade lunch table talk, there may be something to it. Besides the smell.