This year, my lovely bride and I will be celebrating our 20th anniversary. Just like a roller coaster, we’ve had our ups and downs, but it’s been one hell of a ride.

I’ve watched too many people get divorced after just a couple of years. Marriage is committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life – or it should be, anyway – but too many people take the easy way out when they encounter a few mishaps.

One mistake I see most people make when they are searching for a potential mate is, they are looking for someone who is just like them. Do you really want someone who doesn’t bring anything new to the table? How boring. My wife and I are complete opposites, but that has made the past two decades pretty interesting. It’s nice to have a differing view on things, and occasionally you two come to the same conclusion on a topic…using totally different logic.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes and bad decisions over the years, but my bride has put up with them, dealt with me, and still acts like she loves me. If she’s lying, then she should be a politician, because she’s pretty damn good at it.

Before we get into it, here’s a basic rule for each sex:

Men – Feed us, give us some booty, and laugh at our stupid jokes

Women – They just want to know that you think about them. Random flowers for no reason or an occasional “I love you!” text will do wonders, and keep your lady happy.

I’ve broken a happy marriage down into 6 simple rules. I’m not saying that these will guarantee a long happy marriage, but they will make it harder split up:

(Disclaimer: Tee Roy is not a licensed therapist, he’s just some douche who was lucky enough to find a woman who puts up with his crap. Take his advice at your own discretion…)

Sleep naked

There is no reason why should not be naked every single night. You married this person, you should be able to feel their skin against yours – and you’d be amazed at well “nude therapy” works. Even after a nasty fight, it’s hard to stay mad when you’re cuddling in the buff. I would even say be naked as much as you can around the house…but I don’t want your kids to be emotionally damaged.

Be weird together

This is the one person on earth who sees the real you. You should embrace that, and just be weird. Whether it’s random dancing to a goofy song, making up little stories while people watching, or whatever oddness you exude (and you do), being weird and goofy will make you feel young again while giggling at each others strangeness.

Keep your fights internal.

Too many times I see people on social media or hear people complain about their significant other. Don’t air your dirty laundry, and don’t take advice from single people. Once you get others involved, it’s a downhill race to the lawyer’s office. Most arguments will work themselves out, and the ones that don’t will only make your marriage stronger. When you involve others, you’re asking them to pick sides. Even if you make up, the seed has been sewn, and they will poison your ear.

Get away from each other once a week

Sometimes, you just need a few hours away to do your own thing. My wife and I hang out together all of the time, but it’s the time away from each other that does the most good. You are two different people, with your own friends, hobbies, etc. At least one night a week, let your lover be themselves. If you’re one of those people that won’t ever let your spouse out of your sight, either you have trust issues, or you’re just a controlling freak. Either way, you’ve just imprisoned your spouse, and they’ll try to break free at some point.

Be willing to change yourself for the other person, not the other way around

By just being around someone for years, you are going to pick up some of their habits and beliefs. Let nature take its course. When you said “I do”, you made the conscience decision to accept this person as they are – faults and all. Don’t make your spouse change into your personal vision of the ideal mate, change your vision to match who they are. Each of their quirks is part of what you love about them.

Random acts of sex

Sex is important to a healthy relationship. You don’t have to take the train to pound-town 20 times a day, but you should be bumping ugly’s a couple times a week. While the “porn-star” nights are great and all, sometimes randomly bending your lady over a kitchen table for a quickie is all you need. Sneak away while on a camping trip with friends. Head to the deep corner of the pool. Wherever you are, look for a way to be naughty.

Ladies, don’t forget to share your desires with your man. You know what we want (because we are always begging for it), but you ladies have a tendency to be embarrassed by your “dirty” mind. Trust us, if you want it, and you tell us, you’re going to get it. Just a little coaching once, and you’ll have a good time every time! Well, most of the time…


Obviously, every couple is different. These are just some simple guidelines to help you get going in the right track. Have something to add? Share the knowledge in the comment section