Wyoming Declares Open Season On Groundhog [SATIRE]
In an unprecedented move, Wyoming elected officials declare open season on the groundhog that has the power to change the weather, Punxsutawney Phil. Congress believes these measures will help stop the threat of global warming once and for all.
“Punxsutawney Phil! Must! Die!” Tom Fullofhimself shouted while slamming his shoe on the table. “His power to change weather is unnatural, ungodly, and unwanted. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter. That power should not be bestowed on anyone or anything.”
The new "Punx Stamp" will allow any licensed hunter living in the state of Wyoming to hunt the groundhog known as Punxsutawney Phil. It is important to note that any other groundhog is still not permitted.
“It is too cold. It is too windy. We do not need six more weeks of winter,” Senator Betty Makestuffup said at a recent press conference. “If the groundhog is dead, he cannot see his shadow. Hence spring will come sooner to Wyoming every year!”
One reporter wanted to point out that Punxsutawney Phil lived in Pennsylvania not Wyoming, but he was quickly removed from the building.
*This is NOT a real news story. This is satire. We do not intend to offend the great Wyoming Game and Fish nor any of our elected officials. This is just a joke about the weather in Wyoming.*