Important Survey Reveals World’s Sexiest Names
Scarlett Johansson's parents knew what they were doing.
A new survey has found Scarlett is the sexiest name for women (maybe that's why John Travolta couldn't help giving her a peck at the Oscars). That's definitely a tribute to the actress because it's not like Kathy Bates swayed the vote, amiright? Scarlett is so sexy that instead of just the run-of-the-mill T&A, it has two Ts and an A. Nice.
Sexiest Women's Names:
So, what does this list tell us? Well, for starters, the rest of the world has hotter-sounding women than we do in the States and that we have opinions about names for no real reason at all. Between Natalia, Alessandra and Chanel, we're thinking about scoping out some yachts to sail down to the French Riviera where women with those names are more aplenty than Fun Size Snickers in a kid's bag after he's gone trick-or-treating around the block twice.
Among men, Alessandro took sexiest honors. We can't say it definitively, but we're pretty sure every Alessandro who ever existed is a foreign exchange student hell bent on seducing your girlfriend. You know, the kind of guy who wears a blazer and neckerchief, even though he's only 18.
Sexiest Men's Names:
The lesson here? Chicks dig dudes whose names end in "o." We don't think any of the names actually end in that letter; it's just women saw some handsome Italian prince named Lorenz and said, "Lorenz-ohhhh" and then did that for every other good-looking guy.
Where there's sexy, there's also the kind of names that elicit a shudder usually reserved for when Kanye West talks.
The unsexiest names for men (in order) are Bob, Ernest, Norman, Dick and Howard, all of whom sound like characters in every Matt Christopher book wrote that you read in fourth grade. Among the ladies, Gertrude leads the pack, followed by Bertha, Agnes, Ethel and Mildred, none of which have actually been printed on a birth certificate since the Truman administration.