Let's be honest: Black Friday brings out the worst in everyone. It's hard to believe we're kicking off the season of goodwill towards all man, while we step over bodies to grab a volume bar to go with that 55-inch TV we just ripped out of someone else's arm.

So, how do you navigate the throng of madness? Well, it might be best to play dirty.

This venerable old man, who looks eerily like Leslie Nielsen, has certainly seem some things in his life and he's now sharing that wisdom with you.

So, carry some of this advice in your back pocket and may good fortune be with you.