Website Will Dump Your Partner for You, Saving You the ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ Speech
Ending a relationship is nearly as painful as starting one is magical.
There's really no easy way to do it and, unless you're a sociopath who genuinely enjoys hurting someone else's feelings, it's not pleasant. On the surface, telling someone, "I don't like you anymore and I no longer want to spend any of my free time with you" sounds easy, but it's infinitely more difficult than, say, being dragged down to the mall with your girlfriend so you can watch her buy jeans at Express, which, ironically, may have played a role in your decision to call it quits.
The Breakup Shop is here to help. Well, not so much help as do it for you:
The Breakup Shop believes everyone deserves to be single. Let us handle the messy work of the breakup so you can spend more time swiping right.
Yup, The Breakup Shop breaks up for you with different packages for customers. For $10, the site will dump your soon-to-be ex via email or text, while $29 earns a phone call and $30 gets a custom letter, putting a personal touch on a completely impersonal process.
Your partner may not remain mad at you for ending things in such a cold manner, though. That's because you can spring for gifts to help soften the blow for the rejected. Items include wine glasses (so they can drink away their sorrows), Chips! Ahoy cookies (eat up -- they don't need to keep trim for anyone in particular anymore) and Netflix gift cards (for all those lonely nights watching TV by themselves).
The website was started by two Canadian brothers, which certainly disproves the stereotype all those people up north are super-nice, eh?
One of the brothers told Motherboard he knows there's a place in the world for their service. "It's obviously not pleasant, but you also got to think of it from the perspective of the other person who wants to break up. There's a reason they reached out to us."