These True ‘Seinfeld’ Reasons for Dumping Someone Will Make You Want to Stay Single Forever
Breaking up is hard to do. The famous song says so. But, sometimes, breaking up is ridiculous to do.
A question popped up on Reddit last weekend asking people, "What’s your most Seinfeld-like reason for ending a relationship?"
The iconic sitcom may have signed off nearly two decades ago, but it's nice to know the short fuse with which the characters were equipped when it came to tolerating a special someone is still alive and well.
Seinfeld was notorious for inane reasons for cutting someone loose:
So, settle in and get a load at some of the reasons people merrily confess to using and know that Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine are an inspiration to everyone walking across that landmine known as the dating scene:
He was eating a cheeseburger, and somehow got ketchup all over his face. I have an intense aversion to ketchup, and realized that I would never be able to kiss him again without being disgusted."
She kept pronouncing "immaculate" as "immaculant."
She sneezed too loud. Most women I've dated have normal sounding sneezes, ranging from those plugged nose "gnnn" to normal "achoos." But this girl had fucking massive "RA-HAAA!" sneezes, and she had allergies, so it was very common. It got very annoying very fast, so I called it."
Would not use a knife when we went to dinner. She ordered a steak. And only used a fork. She picked up an entire steak with a fork and bit off of it. The best part was she kept dropping it on the plate. Did i mention we were 18 yrs old? Like people know table manners by then right?"
His friends all called him by his last name and I didn't know if I should switch to calling him by his first name when we started dating. I just avoided directly addressing him at all for a few weeks and broke up with him. Sometimes he still endorses me for things on LinkedIn."
Was dating this beautiful girl, great personality, all was going well. She then told me she hated her nose because she thought it looked like a butt. I never saw it that way but once she said it I couldn't look at her without thinking "butt-nose". Had to dump her."